Pagan’s Politics

An occurrence last night has raised considerable concern about my cat Pagan’s political leanings :

On my way to bed (w/ all the lights off) heading around the foot of the bed & I stubbed my toe. Shattering the usual quiet, I burst out “OW!” and begin to hop on my left foot, trying to shake out the sudden pain in the right.

At this instant, Pagan shoots out from under the bed, grabs my unsuspecting left shin with both paws (claws partially deployed) and proceeds to alternate jabs – BATTA-BATTA-BAT-BAT!!

Oh! Hey! What the..? OW!” I shake her off, and try to make it onto the bed, but she immediately circles back around for another hit – this time I can feel the fur of her legs against mine as she hugs my calf to get a good grip and takes a chomp out of my leg! OUCH!

I manage to dive onto the bed and scramble to the head, curling my abused feet and legs under myself as I sit on my pillows in a state of mild panic.

This lasts for about one breathless second before I realized just how hilarious the whole moment has been.I was helpless for a few minutes: sitting on my pillows, laughing until I was in tears.

My guess is that Lingo was oblivious to everything until then, when he began jumping on & off the bed as if to say “Something’s Funny? What is it? Can I play? Is it me? Am I funny?” – which made me laugh even harder.

At this point Pagan jumped up onto the bed murping, purring and wanting petted! Ha!! She proceeded to be sweet & snuggly for a very long time. When I told her she was insane, she meowed back at me quite conversationally.

I know it’s anthropomorphizing to think she was “saying” anything in reply. But I kid you not, her tone of meow just dripped of “Hey, you forgot about your toe, didn’t you?”

…. When recounting this story to a coworker, he suggested that it was really an attempted coup. That she’d seen me in a weakened state & was seizing the opportunity to take out the other leg to topple my regime. His theory is that the subsequent sweetness was her just sucking up so I didn’t catch on to her real motives.What do you think? Is Pagan nefariously plotting my demise?
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