Messages through Time for Trust30

Today’s prompt: What would you say to the person you were five years ago? What will you say to the person you’ll be in five years?

The woman I was 5 years ago?

There are hints of her on this blog – notes from the website I used then, added to these pages so I could keep them alive.

Alicia2006 was gaining her footing. She was making new friends, reconnecting with old friends, and spending a lot of time sipping tea and writing in journals. She had a regular yoga practice. She had just purchased her bike, and was enjoying the freedom of cycling. She was just about ready to embark on new adventures – such as online dating or getting at tattoo.

When I say that Alicia2006 was focusing on her priorities of fun, peace and joy, I really mean it. Here is a rambling excerpt from my journal on 6/7/2006:

I am…trying to do things that will make me happy. Make me happy. Nothing can make me happy. I’m happy from within, or I am not. It is simply that. When I am. When I exist fully in the now like I am in this moment – watching ink flow onto the page – I am peaceful. The first thing I feel is calm. Then I am filled with beauty and joy. But the joy is borne from the peace and beauty, it is released by them. Warm, radiant, effusive joy, like bubbly starlight, a child’s giggle, the sound of sunshine, the warmth of feeling alive against the sky.

This is joy. This is happiness. I don’t need to do anything or buy anything to “make” me happy. Just smile. Smile when I remember to breathe (even though I don’t need to remember). Smile when I catch a stranger’s eye across the aisle with a silly grin on my face already beginning. Smile just to feel like smiling, and to understand that this joy is something that can never be taken from me. This beauty. This grinning starshine. It’s as much a part of me as my scars and tears and messy hair. …

The biggest shift from Alicia2006 to Alicia2011 is, of course, meeting Brett and the changes in living situation and family structure that followed. She has no idea of the fun that’s in store for her!

Do I have a message for her? Nah, not really. She was headed in the right direction. Now, 16 year old Alicia, I’d give a stern talking to….

The woman 5 years in the future?

If I know you (and I think I know you fairly well), Alicia2016, you have some pretty exciting things going on in your life. I am willing to bet that like the shift from Alicia2006 to Alicia2011, you have grown.

It’s pretty safe to assume that in terms of finances, career, family and infrastructure stuff like home and health, you are relatively content. I can assume that Alicia2016 has met most of the goals that I’m striving toward. She can run a 5K in under 30 minutes; she is a published author; she’ll have been married to Brett for almost 4 years.

It’s also pretty safe to assume that Alicia2016 has some wild and wooly goals beyond anything that I can imagine. I know that I will grow like kudzu between now and then, and I know that I very well might find a new, as yet undiscovered direction to take my life. I’m not going to pin her down to anything just yet.

Knowing all of this about her, my only message to Alicia2016 is to remind her to breathe, give her time to reflect, and to send her energy and love from past to future for her next big dream.

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