Pantless Weasels at my office

I’m sure by now everyone has seen the Dilbert cartoon featuring the new SEO guy – the Pantless Weasel. The day it was published, one of our coworkers forwarded it to my boss at the office. When he came by to chuckle about it, the following exchange took place:

“Sorry I couldn’t send it to you, Alicia, I forgot your last name,” he said.

“Don’t worry about it,” I shrugged “I’m going to change it after I get married anyway.”

“King is a perfectly good name, why on earth would you change it?”

“My new name has better SEO,” I admitted.

“You really are a Pantless Weasel, aren’t you?”

By “better SEO”, I mean specifically this:

  • Lower keyword competition – my given name + maiden name is far more popular and common than you think. There are several artists, a photographer, a musician, and a published author who share this combination of names.  There have been two of us on the same employer’s payrolls.
  • Lower web competition – There are approximately 68,800,000 Google web results for my current name. There are 48,000,000 results for my chosen name.  This includes social media profiles, article mentions, and so on.

Of course, there is absolutely no search volume for either name. That is not the point. The point is that when someone does Google my name, I want to dominate the first page of their results.

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