Wandering Aimlessly

I’m only marginally good at meandering.

I only browse in shops when I’m looking for a gift and haven’t figured out what it is I want for someone. (I hold their image in my mind and wander, would they hold this? Would they enjoy it?)

I’m only good at winging it in short doses, particularly when I’ve added the to-do list bullet “wing it.”

I make step-by-step to do lists for the everyday little stuff I have to get done so that I have the instant gratification of checking stuff off the list. The first item is always “finish this list”.

I’ve mentioned my extremely goal-oriented personality type before. Even though it causes little bubbles of panic to stir inside me, I know that I don’t need to know where I’m headed. I don’t need to know why I’m going there.

However, it usually turns out that if I’m going to wing it I’m doing something not in alignment with my true self. With my deepest goals, aspirations, and desires.   Usually, it means I’m following someone else’s course – which can be fun, but not a good idea for long term.

That’s why I set goals to begin with – why I give myself something to check in with.

Does this stuff I’m doing make me feel Invigorated, Generative and Connected?  Actually, yes. In fact, all three at once, perhaps in overload.

That’s interesting. Here, I thought I was freewriting my way into a course correction. Perhaps, instead, I’m not funneling the energy properly. I need to do something different with the charge it’s giving me, rather than letting it smoulder inside my head and body.

That’s today’s challenge, then. I’ll let you know how it works out.



One thought on “Wandering Aimlessly

  1. Pingback: Disaster Planning « A.K. Anderson | Science Fiction and Fantasy Author

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