I have learned that my husband has two settings: Stop. Go.
That’s it. There is no meander. There is no putter. There is no setting for getting there eventually and enjoy the ride.
As I mentioned yesterday, I like to plan ahead. I like to take a few moments thinking through the day and figuring out what I need. In fact, I like to start my day even slower than that. I get up early enough to have breakfast and write, to journal and meander mentally. I like to take time to get myself settled before I have to rush out the door.
(This is why I often refuse his offers for rides to work. I feel pressured. I forget my lunch that way.)
If he gets clicked into “Go” setting before I’m done with my data-modeling and day-noodling, I forget things. Crucial things – like wallets and keys!
I call him a “Juggernaut” when he gets in “GO” mode. “An overwhelming, advancing force that crushes or seems to crush everything in its path“.
Yes. That describes Brett set on Go.
I’ve learned to be careful about how and when the switch gets flipped. Ethan is a little more like me. He likes to gradually move from one setting to the other. He likes to mentally prepare for the next few hours. “What are we going to do after that, Daddy?” is a VERY common phrase at our house. I’m still trying to master the art of getting Ethan to transition with me, while leaving Brett on the “Stop” setting.
Because when Brett gets into Juggernaut mode, he wants to be out the door. He wants to leave. He wants to get there. No second-guessing about sunscreen. Just GO. Once we reach our destination at or around the designated time (or three hours early, whatev) he will relax.
Brett in stop mode is FULL STOP. He doesn’t like to be asked to move from stop into “help me with this please”. Because helping me with something is neither stop nor go, it’s somewhere in between. I think he gets frustrated by the middle settings.
So, the travel agent and I took this into account when planning the honeymoon.
When I travel, I’ll deliberately take the scenic route to be able to stop in things that catch my eye along the way. I will give myself swaths of free time for getting lost and wandering. This is how I learn a place. This is how I explore the world. I like to walk a lot when I’m in a new place. Walking is a good pace for exploration.
Brett, on the other hand, wants a clear destination. Once we get to the destination, he’ll explore with me. So AT the acropolis, or AT the Delphi ruins, he will be willing to meander. Mostly, his idea of vacation is sitting on a pretty beach (which sounds boring and sun-burny to me).
Though we’ve been together for 6 years, we’ve never vacationed together. Not like this. I’m hoping that we can balance my desire to feel and touch and see, and his desire to rest and relax.