One thing I am not: Lazy.

My inner critic likes to call me that. It’s a bad word in my internal world. I am not ever lazy. (“averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent”)

AT 098

I’m frequently exhausted.  I’m the one farther from the photographer in this shot. Putting boots up so the swelling in my feet can go down a little after a day of hiking, before the rest of the day of hiking. Pack off. Reclining in the grass for a second.

“You don’t relax, you collapse,” is what Brett told me when we had this conversation.  That’s true. I do get tired. I wear myself out.

Perhaps I need to learn my recovery pace (says the duathlete who can run or hike for hours).

What I am often is overwhelmed. 

When I’m not tired from all of the things I do and must do and want to do and think I should be doing, I’m frustrated because I don’t have the time to do them all.  So I have to pick which one to do now. Which one to do first.  I’m often juggling priorities.  That’s why I do the goals thing so carefully, because they can help me figure out which priority is higher in terms of the next to-do.

Writing-wise, I’m still learning my endurance pace. I want to have my blog written in advance every day, but most days that’s not possible.  I would like to spend some time creating every day. Some time editing and revising. Also, not possible.  Ideally, I would have my writing stuff as part of a routine, but I’ve yet to make that happen.

You know what I want to do right now?  Escape. Do nothing. Loaf.  I want to be the girl in the grass in the picture above. 

I want to be in the woods.


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