One thing I am not: Lazy.
My inner critic likes to call me that. It’s a bad word in my internal world. I am not ever lazy. (“averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent”)
I’m frequently exhausted. I’m the one farther from the photographer in this shot. Putting boots up so the swelling in my feet can go down a little after a day of hiking, before the rest of the day of hiking. Pack off. Reclining in the grass for a second.
“You don’t relax, you collapse,” is what Brett told me when we had this conversation. That’s true. I do get tired. I wear myself out.
Perhaps I need to learn my recovery pace (says the duathlete who can run or hike for hours).
What I am often is overwhelmed.
When I’m not tired from all of the things I do and must do and want to do and think I should be doing, I’m frustrated because I don’t have the time to do them all. So I have to pick which one to do now. Which one to do first. I’m often juggling priorities. That’s why I do the goals thing so carefully, because they can help me figure out which priority is higher in terms of the next to-do.
Writing-wise, I’m still learning my endurance pace. I want to have my blog written in advance every day, but most days that’s not possible. I would like to spend some time creating every day. Some time editing and revising. Also, not possible. Ideally, I would have my writing stuff as part of a routine, but I’ve yet to make that happen.
You know what I want to do right now? Escape. Do nothing. Loaf. I want to be the girl in the grass in the picture above.
I want to be in the woods.