I wrote this poem in July 2006, and have only just stumbled across it for the first time since then. I think it’s workable – let me know if you agree in the comments!
While weeding through subconscious fears
Trying to understand
and dismantle inexplicable actions
I have stumbled across something
growing inside me.
The seed has been there all along.
For a while it flourishes, then it dies back
A hearty plant that waits for the next season
if this one’s conditions aren’t going to feed it right.
Nestled deep in the soil that rests
in the bottom of my belly,
robust and gutsy composted mulch.
It may be intuition given voice,
tossed by my breath.
The seed is fertilized by passionate surrender
to my body’s deepest cravings:
food, sex, shelter.
To be held.
To be left alone.
Then my Self emerged
like the sun to warm the seed.
Bright, shining, resilient and brave,
stronger than I ever thought possible.
The glowing orb
That pricks me between my shoulder blades
burns me from behind my sternum.
I refuse to wade knee-deep
into the river of life.
Instead I walk in up to my hips
to my chest
until my breasts float in the cold current.
Ah, says the seed.
These conditions are favorable….
And she sprouts.