Before and After

I wrote about my solstice clothing purge, but never showed you the results. Today, that’s my plan. Sadly, the full-length mirror in my house lives behind the closet door in the bedroom – where Brett sleeps while I’m getting ready. Therefore, the only full-length selfies that I can take are in the elevator at work. Weirdly, I know for a fact that I’m not the only one of the people who work at my office who uses the elevator for this purpose.  Luckily, I’ve got a few of these saved on my PC to be able to show a clear before and after.

before after

In addition to the obvious change in style, there are a few more things I’ve discovered over the past two weeks of drastic change:

The last two times I went through a drastic restyling and focused on being more myself, I found the exact same sort of style – patterns, colors, skirts, flowing hair and funky accessories.

The first time was my Senior year of high school. I edged away from it because I was still figuring out who I was at Sweet Briar, and I wasn’t quite comfortable being THAT me.

The last time was in 2005-2007. Not that long ago, right? What happened? Well, I’ll tell you.  I gained weight. When I say I gained weight, I mean I packed on 40 lbs over a span of 2-3 months. (Turns out that’s really common with insulin resistance.)  I decided I’d only replace the clothes I needed to get through the work week. Simple, practical, neutral clothes that would mix and match week after week.  It was an oblique form of self-punishment for not losing. I was supposed to lose it again.  I was supposed to get back down into my smaller, prettier clothes.

I purged the smaller clothes a while back, but it never occurred to me that my current closet was a prison cell. I hadn’t realized I was harming myself. After a while, I stopped remembering that I was denying myself. It became a habit.

This time around, everything fits. In fact, everything fits so well that nothing is ever binding or tight or restrictive. None of this free, creative, breezy stuff is at all uncomfortable.  Nothing hurts or pinches. I’ve gone from self-punishing greys and waistbands that lose buttons to gorgeous patterns and colors with elastic waists.

Oh, and I’ve lost more weight in the weeks since making this change than I have all year.


5 thoughts on “Before and After

  1. I’m glad you’re getting out of your prison of greys. I’ve felt a lot better in patterns and skirts for a while now too. It’s amazing how just feeling like you’re being yourself from head to toe can change the way you walk through your day.

    Also, just because I’m curious: You mentioned Sweet Briar. Did you go to Sweet Briar College? Or was that the name of your high school?

  2. Pingback: Being a “Serious Artist” | A.K. Anderson | Science Fiction and Fantasy Author

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