As you know, I write these blog posts in advance. I usually write the posts for the week ahead over the quiet of Saturday and Sunday mornings. When I’m going to be out of town or exceptionally busy, I write more than a week in advance. I say all of this because I’m drafting this a full week ahead. It is 7/7/13 as I type this, at 11:35 AM. This is important, because what I’m writing about now, on July 7th is anxiety. By the time this is live on July 14th, it will be a past event, done and gone.
On Saturday the 13th, I’m going to be attending my 20-year High School reunion.
We’ve talked about geek recovery before. It’s a slow process.
I have an easier time showing my geekitude proudly here in Atlanta, where I’ve surrounded myself with people I choose to surround myself with. Where I have been able to just be me from the onset of new relationships. This trip to Ohio, well, that’s different.
I went to the same school from Kindergarten through Graduation, and so did the vast majority of the 142 members of the class of 1993.
I’ve kept in touch with some of my friends over that time. Some of my oldest friends will be in attendance, and I’m delighted with that fact. Facebook, of course, also facilitates this. But generally speaking there are only about a half-dozen people attending who I’ve been in regular contact with since I moved away from the area twenty years ago.
That half-dozen, their spouses. Those people I don’t feel weird about seeing next weekend. It’s the rest of them that I’m not so sure about.
We have a shared history, all of us. We have memories of one another. An event that was insignificant to me might have been very important to someone else, and vice versa. I’m both intrigued to see how we respond to one another… and secretly terrified. I was not a cool kid. I’m going to be leaning heavily on Brett’s charm and my own hard-earned confidence and do my very best.
I get really existential when it comes to times like this. The nausea of knowing we can never really know what other people think of us. Perhaps I’ll learn something new.
You never know.