I've written in the past about my emotions before, and the shame of disability. I've written about how working with this disease is personal shadow work. What I have't written about is how the shadow of chronic illness, chronic pain, and disability impact healthy people. How healthy people's unwillingness to sit with their own discomfort - … Continue reading “Get Well Soon” vs. “Have you tried…?”
What's the difference between a Yankee and a Damn Yankee? A Yankee comes to visit the South. A Damn Yankee stays. This is a real joke that I've heard told in a southern drawl, and a pretty accurate description of me. I grew up in rural, northeastern Ohio, and I've been living in Atlanta, Georgia … Continue reading I’m a Damn Yankee
It's been a while since I've posted. My cats died. I'm going to start grad school in under 2 weeks. Physically, I don't really feel any better. I am battling hopelessness and despair along with pain. I'm pretty sure the lexapro I started taking for anxiety is the last tiny warrior staving off considerable depression. … Continue reading It’s been a while…
During the European and American witch hunts, witches were said to have familiars - often cats, bats or toads that would suckle at unnatural teats and confer powers. In Malleus Maleficarum (The Hammer of Witches, sort of a genocidal handbook), the confessions of some witches spoke of familiar spirits as those personal demons that are a … Continue reading The Real Job of a “Familiar”
In this post, I'm going to attempt to digest my own experience of shame in terms of disability and the larger context that surrounds it. Similar to my previous post, a lot of this draws on the essay “Constructing Normalcy: The Bell Curve, the Novel, and the Invention of the Disabled Body in the Nineteenth Century” … Continue reading Disability and Shame
There is no such thing as average. There is no such thing as above- or below- average. There is no such thing as ideal, except in the face of the Divine.
This post is about losing privilege. Let me be very clear: The people for whom privilege is a default setting, for whom privilege means an ongoing exercise of listening and empathy - those people are not losing rights en masse. For GLBTQ folks to want to be legally married, it does absolutely nothing to straight folks' marriages … Continue reading Upon Loss of Privilege
This is going to be raw and unedited. It isn't going to make any sense. It just has to come out. Today is the National Day of Prayer, according to hashtags.
Even with people coming to the house for lunch and visitors breezing through town I'm lonely. I know this is because I'm not talking about the reality of my situation. I'm not letting anyone in. Not really. Because I don't want to complain. And right now, if I let people into my emotional space, it is largely negative.
Since my diagnosis of psoriatic arthritis three months ago, I'm adjusting to budgeting my energy as a spoonie. One of the things that I'm doing is negotiating heavily with the over-achiever type-A part of myself to make sure that I don't overdo things. Recently, I realized that I need to put that aspect of my … Continue reading New Spoonie Game = A Whole New Rule Book